The mention of love in society generally conjures visions of hearts and flowers, creating a Disney-like mental picture of romantic relationships. The masculinity and machismo often associated with the gridiron does not immediately surface in this affectionate imagery. Still, love certainly permeates throughout the personal connections and bonds formed during pigskin participation. While traditional correspondence of adoration concludes with X’s and O’s to represent hugs and kisses, those same X’s and O’s dictate schematic purpose in the football world, marking the beginning of new interactions, experiences and relationships.
My involvement in football has led to many of the greatest loves in my life. From the coaches that have helped mold my character, to the coaching friends that have supported my efforts, and especially to the players that have dedicated themselves to each of our teams’ visions, I have been extremely lucky to be living out a football fairy tale. Like any good love story, the setting and characters are essential to the telling. I can boil down the essentials in my story to four elements of love.
1. The Setting: The sights, smells, and sounds of football have a special place in the game and in my heart. I remember in middle school football riding to each game on an adolescent sweat and steam filled bus. Our team chanted out hymns ranging from an intense “BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!!!” to “WHAT ARE WE???…WINNERS!!! (even though the occasional smartass would delightfully exclaim WEINERS!). We probably put more effort into those chants than we did the games but we sang and played hard enough to win at least some of the competitions. When I got to high school, pregame became an organized production with almost choreographed timing that climaxed with an emotional playing of the national anthem. My heart still beats at a different pace anytime I hear that most monumental American melody. To this day fresh grass, loud whistles and Friday-Night-Lights all fill me with euphoric emotions.
2. My Mentors: I count myself lucky to have played for a countless number of coaches who possessed tremendous character. I certainly cannot convey the ample amount of gratitude that I owe towards each of these men so like an awards show I must apologize in advance for any lacking appreciation. Atop of the list sit three men who helped change my life for the better.
First, an assistant coach that followed my class through middle and high school, Coach Joey. My first memory of Coach Joey was him leading my brother’s little league team with a drill sergeant’s intensity and a wired jaw. I had never been so terrified and humored at the same time. By the time he became my coach the wire was gone, the yell was louder and the message clear: I better do my job and do it well. Coach Joey’s screams traveled my way quite regularly over the course of six years and every decibel made me a better player and person.
The head coach at my high school, Coach S, became a father figure to me. Coach S never told his players he loved them but he showed it. He used to host team meals at his house after school on Fridays before the game. I not only ate his food but I also ate up every word that came out of his mouth for four years. Coach S was a loving educator, husband, and father and a model of the person I wanted to become. I love Coach S and to this day and I would run through a brick wall for that man!
Finally, my college coach, Coach B. My football career in college was short lived and ended by a bad girl, a bad knee and an empty bank account. Happily, I can report the girl is gone, the knee is healed, the account is in the black and Coach B’s lessons still guide me as a coach and person. I will never forget the first time Coach B said “Love ya, #73.” As a role player at best I was shocked to hear those words, but I shouldn’t have been. Coach B had always said team was family, and he meant it, a lesson I still value and carry in my own coaching endeavors.
3. My Colleagues/Friends/Brothers: Coaching and playing football has brought so many excellent men into my life. The advice and support these men have provided and continue to provide keep me moving in a positive life direction. Carving down this list is an impossible task. Each of these men have meant the world to me. My mother gave me two brothers and football added to that total tremendously.
The one person that deserves special mention is my best friend, Stanley. I met Stanley during my freshman year in college. I gauged him a kicker based on his physical presence. He actually played running back, maybe the toughest scout team running back college football has ever seen. I will never forget the practice he threw the football at an arrogant linebacker and called him soft. The next play our All-American LB decked him with an explosive hit to remind him to shut up and play. Stanley, missing the point, popped up, clapped loud, and yelled “they hit a lot harder than that back in Ohio!” Stanley has always been a fighter and I am glad to have him in my corner.
4. My Players: People often inquire about the best players I have coached. They seek the young men that show up on the highlight reels, but the players that have meant the most to me cemented a place in my heart with their selfless actions and dedication to their teammates. I have not liked all of the players I have coached, but I have genuinely cared for each of them. I have invited players onto my teams, into my home and as part of my family. I tell my players I love them and I do. Consequently, no greater feeling exists as a coach than when a player says “I love you too Coach!”
Lord Alfred Tennyson wrote “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” The poet may have expressed such sentiment in regards to romance, but the quote undoubtedly applies to football as well. Whether dwelling on defeat or reveling in victory, football fosters rewarding relationships and everlasting experiences. Tennyson’s thought applies because the only way to eliminate the possibility of loss is to leave the game and its rewards behind.
My advice to each coach, win or lose is this–while breaking down the game film don’t forget to also take inventory of the elements that make your football story special.
See you next time,
Coach Fields