Dear Son…
By Eddie Fields, Coach and Teacher
Space Coast High School (FL)
In a recent school assignment my, 8-year-old, son had to write a letter to one of his parents expressing appreciation. My son penned the following message:
Dear Dad,
Thank you for not coaching football this year. I think we can spend more time together now and maybe you won’t be so mad. See you tomorrow at back to school night.
Love B-Man
This letter stemmed from my decision to not coach football this season. In order to more rapidly work on my administrative license, I left the sideline and accepted an assistant athletic director position. I struggled with this outcome because football has been part of my life since I was ten years old.
After reading my son’s words, I appreciated my decision. Football has been such a focus in my life that my priorities have not always been in the right order. I have no doubt that I will coach again in the near future. However, this time away has definitely allowed me to reflect on my role as a father and coach. Ultimately, I’m getting better at both.
Corresponding to my son, I wrote the following message:
Dear Son,
I love football. BUT I LOVE YOU MORE! I know there are times that we don’t get to see each other much because I am coaching. I also know I lose my temper over the silliest stuff. I hope you understand that I miss you when I am gone and still love you when I am mad.
I want you to know that I am SORRY for the opportunities I have missed to spend time with you. I know that I am not perfect, but I am so very happy to be your dad!
I am who I am because of football. Football has allowed me to gain faith, friends and fuel for life. Even now it allows me to realize and grow from my mistakes as a dad and coach. Football has been a very important part of my life, but you have reminded me that it’s not the most important part.
You may or may not go on to play, coach or love football the way I do. And that will be perfectly okay with me. Whatever you decide to do in life, I hope that you will find something that allows you to always try to be a better person, like football has done for me.
Thank you so much for being honest with me! I promise to be better!! I love you!!!
Dad
At times football has consumed me physically, mentally and emotionally. As a young coach finding balance was virtually impossible for me. When I first started, I always seemed to find more film to breakdown, extra work to do around the office or whatever tasks helped me feel more confident leading up to game day. Even when I started to define success beyond wins and losses, I found myself spending more time with my players and coaches than my family.
The older I have gotten the more I have tried to find a healthy balance between football and family. Time is scarce. I know I need to spend QUALITY time with those outside of football. When I move back into coaching, I have promised myself to not only make time for my family but to also make sure that the time I give them is spent without football-strings attached.
The “back to school” night my son wrote about in his letter was the first fall school event I had attended of his in three years. That is no longer acceptable to me as a father. I love my son and I want to act as an example for him. This means I absolutely have to be a positive and present figure in his life.
My advice to each coach, win or lose is this – find a way to leave your football frustrations at the field. Also, never assume your children know how much you love them. Tell them and show them how much you care every time you get the chance.
See you next time,
Coach Fields
About the Author:
Eddie Fields serves as an assistant athletic director, teacher and coach at Space Coast Jr./Sr. High School in Cocoa, FL. His coaching career has spanned 14 seasons at the high school and college levels in Indiana, North Carolina and Florida. Coach Fields can be reached by email at eddie_fields@yahoo.com